The power of vulnerable potential.

Many schools of thought within the psychological field teach us about limiting beliefs; about constructs within the mind stemmed from a collection of repetitive cerebral interplay. For years recognising personal beliefs has been a big learning curve, I have found that when I push myself past the point of thought and into the realm of the unknown there is great & powerful growth to be had. It’s easier to play safe than it is to open oneself up to a new reality. The majority of mainstream education teaches us not to step outside a certain parameter into a space of …….vulnerability. However as Brené Brown so adequately says; ‘vulnerability is the birth place of innovation, creativity & change.’ These parameters include what we believe about our Horses & the reason they are here in our lives. We love them, cherish their presence, how much deeper can / does that relationship go? Can all relationships go for that matter? What if our Soul bonds reach through the physical world into an etheric field of intimacy & expansion. Countless spiritual experiences have occurred between Humans and Horses. What dictates these experiences is the level of openness we practice, and in this practice realise again and again (creating new thought stream) where our boundaries of belief are. What do I believe about this situation and more importantly WHY? When we truly see how everything we experience in the material world is a program to some degree we begin re-writing the chapters in our own words.

Take our physical capacity for example – the average Human life expectancy is 72 years. There is much science to back this up and I am in no way disputing that this is one truth, however if we stop for a second and think about what this means……..WHY is that the statistic? Men & Women in ancient cultures lived long past the age of 100 and in thriving health, in the western world this figure (increased since WWI) is primarily dictated by the level of stress experienced on a daily basis throughout the general population, but who is telling us that? Is this THE truth or one repetitive mental flurry told again and again by millions of people over hundreds of years which eventually arrives neatly into our personal unconscious mind? I hear people in their 30’s saying that they are ‘getting old’…….I mean.…..where does this even come from? If it is a collective belief then aren’t we part of that collective? And aren’t we the ones who can personally dictate the EXACT outcome of our physical power & longevity?

Back to Horses now. Have you ever asked yourself why your Horse is in your life and gone deeper than the physical answer? Are there any beliefs you carry around the way your Horse should behave… work….look….act….do everything? How would you re-define what ‘being together’ means for you both in equally relatable terms… remembering that the unknown is always new ground for growth.

When the lenses of society are removed we leave ourselves standing in vulnerable nakedness to the potential of something unknown and extricably life changing.

The Mystery of Your Soul

Absolutely everything has an energy to it. All things, all time and space, every thing in existence. All categories of life, words, thoughts, actions, dreams.

Like a flower we expand towards the light. Even in the darkness of our being in that contracted state of fear the flower is still present, still exists.

Light is a bearer of truth. It moves through the space of constancy which we see around us. Enlightening each being and holding space in breathe and presence. The Horse’s light is grandiose, it moves in waves encompassing the fabric of ’emptiness’. It dives into the Earth connecting with sacred grids of the planet and shapes of the Universe. There is a feeling of mystery which lies past the veil of understanding and deep inside the movement of your own Soul. The animals of this planet know this, they work WITH their Divine Nature. Trusting signals, listening deeply and displaying acts of kindness far beyond the average human realm. It is time to remember where we are this kind. By settling into your own light, your own being, witness how your Horses’ behaviour changes.

In the finite eclipses of sheltered expression there will be gestures calling you to understand.

Find the place filled with light between you and your Horse. Sit in it. Become one with it. Know it as your kin, it is fertile ground for awakening.

From the Earth to the Sky the same running current flows, no one party exists more frequently than the other. In some ways we are here to heal and in our healing we unravel the magic lying dormant there.

The perfection of remembrance held tightly to your core. An idea of a right or wrong way is an idea of an ideal, it is YOUR UNIQUE way which holds creation in balance. Making for your Horse to expand into.

Be with me

As I sat with the horses this morning, their messages swept over me, helping me bask in their expansive energy. Horses are able to dive so quickly and easily into the space between worlds. Their sense of reality always a guage for us to steer into and observe, experientially upholding a validation for their ability to roam the dimensions with ease.

This morning my intention was to go deep into that meditative space with them. The first thing I noticed however was the intense pounding of my mind! Stopping for a moment had helped me see where all my focus has been. Thoughts were whirling around my head, an unstoppable fire caught in the wind, spreading in an erratic, unpredictable way, thoughts about updating my website, about which posts should go where in relation to how relevant each piece of writing is for the reader. Thoughts about my blog…Yes, all this was still whirling around in my head. I have read that there is a high number of people who had never experienced anxiety until they joined social media. I can very easily see how that could be true. It felt like too much, an overwhelming force of overactivity inside me. I have had this tendency, to be too ‘in my head’. It feels like friction through body when this happens, an uninhabited land. As I sat I did my best to breathe back into my body, to calm my mind and focus, focus on expanding my awareness to include that of the horses. To feel them.

Latina came over then, she stood with me and instantly the message came through:

“The ‘Horse frequency’ is the ‘Heart frequency.’” She helped me drop into my heart centre and stay there, not just there though, everywhere, expanding outward. Her message was clear, ‘BE with me’. That was all, no fluffy details about why, for what reason, or how…. The message was so clear that in its clarity the sense it made was perfect. Just ‘Be with me’. Be with me. My intention had been to go into space with them, but how could I do that in the way I wanted to if I was not showing up for / with them. I watch how they are all so present with each other, engaging exactly when the other needs it, moving in a synchronistic melody, the way they innately interact is a dance which at times rages and at times breathes life from stillness.

Horses ARE the present moment, I have never experienced such a transition from a state of mental flurry to heart calming expanse, never so quickly or as gently as with the horses. Their ability to bring us from one state into another is, in my book, as powerful as any other guide on Earth.

So the sitting and learning to ‘BE’ continued… Toby came forward to bathe in the energy Latina and I were sharing he also had a message, expanding upon what we were already feeling into he offered his wise perspective as always. He said that it is about me Being with them on all levels, not solely from my heart, but on ALL levels. Showing up from where I was from and entering into all things around them. When we drop into our hearts we DO feel ALL things. As they do. It is so simple really when I think about it – offering them a sate of being to experience and be around which mirrors their own inherent nature. ‘Being the Horse’ in their presence. Changing my energy to match theirs means that sharing space with them becomes boundless.

So much more has to be said for the power of Horses, we all know deep down (or close to the surface) that these beings are special. Their history, the positions they hold in our world, from athletes to workers to therapist they have been loved, ignored, revered, misunderstood, mistreated, and used… despite all of this our horses ARE our guides, they point us inwards with every step, they hold space for us regardless of whether we are conscious about how much we need them to or not. They do. Every single being on this planet has a message, people, animals, plants, the elements – everything holds a current of truth we can tap into. When we do, when we are able to feel the frequency of that thing, it is important to nurture it – to allow it to expand – to BE WITH it. Loving that thing into a deeper existence so that you can carry it with your every step.

When they called me to BE WITH THEM they were also calling me to BE LIKE THEM, to hold space and morph into their flow. Receiving the information they have to impart happens when I shift and we meet in the middle. When I meet them where they know to go. Toby has been my eternal teacher – always helping me go deeper, see more. He taught me today that receiving the information they have to share actually happens when we BECOME the receiver. By this I mean when we tune ourselves into a more receptive mode of experiencing information. Hearing, seeing, feeling the ALL. He showed me that just as our DNA is said to be where we download high frequency information from, our attention, our focus is also that way. Our attention can be a receiver as well as have a gauging point, it can input as well as output. This lead me to question where the majority of my focus is, day to day, night to night, what is my focus shining on? Where is it? Horses bring us home, in a myriad of ways. Tuning into their energy so that we can BE WITH EACH OTHER is what makes the difference as we move through this remembering relationship of Oneness.

Become all things as a matter of medicine

These past 10 days have been a real dark night of the soul for me. Cascading through fits of fear I had not realsed were possible for me to handle. Breaking boundaries of what I perceive to be ‘real’ and leaping into new realms.

There really is no limit to this type of personal unfolding. Something I said to a friend of mine last night was that I feel there is no beginning and no end to the recognition of who we are. It is boundless, literally. I mean this in the most productive way that I can mean it. Our Unconscious mind will only present information and / or experience to us when we are ready to receive and process it, allowing integration to actually be a very kind (albeit totally shattering at times) way of becoming (or feeling) more whole. Five years ago I chose to dive straight down and deep into my own inner shadow; with the intention to know myself at a deeper level. The journey has been as harrowing as it has been awakening, today I sit writing these words as a completely different person. So many nuances, habits, beliefs, perceptions, choices, overall energetic patterns, and even physical alignments have shifted, because of my choice to show up more fully on this planet. I behave differently because I now function from an evolving perspective of what Love is and WHO I am. Even right in the midst of unfurling fear I still somehow KNOW I have a choice. The truth is present there, I see that there is no separation between what I am going through and the rest of the world around me. How any suffering I experience is also the suffering of the world, any joy I experience is also the joy of the world. We are ALL this way! Collectively there can be no separation. The sooner and the deeper we all begin to adopt this perspective of Oneness the more we can begin integrating parts of ourselves which NEED to be heard. Diving into my own personal processes helps me connect to others in the best way that I can. Helps me Love others because of the merging of what I am going through! Acknowledging the shadow and the light within ME helps me acknowledge the shadow AND light in the world, in every person, in every animal, in ALL beings. I am not saying it is easy, I am saying that there is beauty in the challenge of coming home again.

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Ultimately my choice is always the same; love, in all it’s different forms.

As I entered what my horses have been calling the ‘Inner Void’ this past week I saw all the things I had not seen, saw all the things I knew were right for me. I know I will succumb again to the calling of my eternal space within. To wake up in that space, where all things are known, unknown, and loved.

I also came to know my body on a deeper level. Came to so many clear understandings of how it helps us heal. In this way these words appeared:

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Recover the ways of your nature, become all things as a matter of medicine.

Your physical body is a gateway, a precipice on which all things are known and unknown. Only the experience that passes through this doorway into the eternal You is what is perceived as truth. For in One breathe you are the edge, the opening and the infinite. Containing it’s own vast consciousness your body shifts frequency based on what you call in in this Conscious and Unconscious way you have.

Our physical bodies house it ALL. Every-Thing. Nothing escapes its knowledge of who you truly are. It is awake to you, it sees you moment by moment in your entirety.

Step inside it now, see for yourself how much has been waiting to dance again.

Every portrait you ever created of who you thought you were is present there……and all the rest.

Bear witness to the power which your body IS. Respect it.. Know that you have chosen it for a reason, all the pain and bliss in the world is felt here. Nowhere else. THROUGH the consciousness of your form you are then less than that as you climb up to emerge through the portal of awakening again.

And in it’s centre….. Space.

Every cell, every particle, every organ…. Space. More space than we can possibly ‘IMAGINE’. This vastness knows only your feeling look.

Lean into it when you can. Lay your head down to rest upon the timelessness of realisation. Surrender into you. ~~

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Sexuality ~ A lesson from Mother Earth ~

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For years in the western world our Sexual nature has been both covered up and exploited. We have been told to not be seen to be too Sexual and at the same time to purchase products whose media campaigns are based solely around the image of Sex Selling Best.

Many of you know how much the tide of sexual expression has been suppressed and is now re emerging with the voices of powerful women at it’s forefront. The process I describe below is one branch off the tree to an infinite number of healing stories.

Due to many social and cultural conditions I have grown up with a deep sense of what ~ ‘Beauty IS.’

A generic IDEA of what I need to do or who I need to be in order to feel that I am desirable to the world around me. This has translated out to all areas of my life however inside the world of relationships the programs are at their peak.

As soon as the build up to sexual interaction beckons I have in the past felt a deep sense of dread, as a survivor of sexual assault this fear has been part of my body’s language response and a ‘how do we stay safe this time’ strategy. However the mental dread is what I am referring to this time.

As I become more and more aware of my habitual thoughts and patterns I am of course also able to begin applying the power of my choice to direct this flow of mental activity in a more desirable direction on a consistent basis.

This morning I noticed a flurry of thoughts come forward. Whilst contemplating sexual encounters in general and how the overall Tabooed sexual world is truly rising to be seen in a new (and old) light, my thoughts turned inwards to myself and what this means for me on a personal level. Immediately ‘The Dread’ arose too. There was a DISTINCT fear of engagement with anyone on a sexual level, when I looked deeper and became the observer of my thoughts I saw that the reason was that I have been SO focussed on reaching a state where I felt I was suitable or even desireable enough to ENJOY the act itself!
Points such as – Will I do the right thing, say the right words, look the part in the ‘right’ way… I need to be thinner, prettier, sexier, more in touch with my body, eat less, eat more, wear this or that. Striving to be this perfect VERSION of what through cultural programming I learned to believe sensuality and sexuality are! As soon as I was able to see this within myself my focus immediately snapped back to my physical body, I had been walking my two dogs at the time and was standing on a grass path looking out at the stunning Dorset rolling hills. What came into my mind next was the complete contrast projected out on Mother Earth’s own canvas.

I saw how perfect she was, farmed or natural her beauty was eternal because of her existence. As I breathed in the view which lay before me I felt immense gratitude for Earth’s splendor. For her giving, for her Heart. Before me was THE PERFECT example of how whatever the texture of who we are, we are contributing to the whole in our own way. Watching the rays of the morning sun glide and dance around the tops of the hills I realised it was in fact the deeper elementals of nature which made her so beautiful. The light casting shadows on ‘unkept’ grass, the leaves filtering rainbow spectrums as they glide to the ground, the soft singing of a breeze carrying stories from other roaming pastures. All of these different parts of Mother Nature are what add to Her Beauty. And I was grateful again, to know deep in my being that this was another lesson in the truth of who I am.

Who I am as a woman embracing her sexuality, her sensuality. Who I am as a woman taking the road to Healing her Sexuality step by step, acknowledging each pass as a blessing.

Our Sexual Nature is part of who we are, it will ALWAYS be part of who we are. However numbed out, suppressed, denied or out of balance it has been it will ALWAYS still be what brought you into the world! And it is now time to heal it as much as we can. Individually, collectively, culturally, socially. To bring our pleasures into cohesive balance with our Hearts desire to Love one another. To know that it truly is ok to BE SEXUAL! And to enjoy the magic of union in our fullest capacity.

Focus on LOVE

Something that has been coming through from my horses recently is to be hyper aware of where my and ultimately ‘our’ focus IS, right now.

Life can seem very complex, in fact it IS complex. There are so many different ways we can function. Our mental capacity is multidimensional in its ability to split, open, frame, and create somehow all within the fractal of a moment. For those of you who have experienced the deep state of ‘Samadhi’ during mediation, or that somatic wave of joy whilst exploring the divinity of Mother Nature, you will have perhaps noticed what it feels like once our minds ‘turn back on’ or come back into the realm of ‘reality’ as we then come to know it. It can feel like a vast comparison to the ’emptiness’ of state we have experienced.

This mental stream is of course equally as valuable and when cultivated with awareness it can actually be one of your driving forces of authentic strength creation.

Collectively on the planet we are in a huge time of change, all over the globe we can see shifts in perspective arising, voices calling out, hearts expanding and moving into action, truths singing LOUD. There is A LOT of flux right now!

The time to recognise how powerful our focused intention really is is upon us. Use this extra special opening to notice where YOUR focus is. We can also use this time to ask ~ Where is my INNER flux at this time? How am I either changing now or in a tidal wave of capacity to do so?

Holding space for your focus to be known is important because you are in fact a microcosmic force within a vast network of collective outcomes. You literally ARE the living key to your own becoming. Where your thoughts are directing you is vital as it is where you will find yourself in some shape or form.

What I have noticed recently about the way my own mind behaves is that it is extremely well designed in the sense that it can, of its own accord, take me on a journey with a destination so far away from my original start point. It sometimes feels like ‘it’ is the driver, yet the larger aspect of my awareness knows that all things are actually in inextricable balance and can only come out of that play by virtue of my own choice on some level. Therefore there is no part of me which is not experiencing exactly what it is meant to in perfect accordance with my own development.

Using all our given traits as Human beings. Our thoughts, our feelings, our physical body, our intentional self, our etheric form; this is one of the many different elements to why we are here. To utilise ALL of ourselves IN the dynamic of Love. In conjunction with this there is no point in pushing away our thoughts or denying our emotions the freedom to be expressed, all of these elements exist in tandem with WHO YOU ARE. Honing your focus into Love does not mean denying the other feelings, it simply means going through your own personal process to reach a point where you realise that it always already exists within you, and can be called upon!

You cannot escape your nature, and your focus truly IS a spark in this world.

So as the horses are guiding – be available for WHATEVER YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE with the intention to ultimately bring your focus onto Love, a Love that is waiting with open arms, that constant embrace. May it be a case of simply recognising what is already present within so that we may be conscious creators in this world again and again.

Nourishment – Look yourself in the Eye –

Remember ~ Any part of you which is creating the frequency of fear through thoughts, feelings, actions or beliefs, conscious or unconscious, known or unknown. Is a part of you calling out for the deepest nourishment. For you to embrace into your expansive awareness the totality of your experience rather than through a segmental perspective. You begin to see very clearly that those parts are part of the greater whole of life. Any energy attachment which creates a ‘reaction’ is difused by the choice to approach your full self with unconditional presence. Aware of the Ego, aware of the Heart, aware of the deepest truth that no one thing is better than the other. This aspect of our enlightenment holds boundless potential for inward and outward compassionate expression.

Rather than thinking this is a part of you to push away instead pull it towards you. Tune your being to remember that ‘This part of me needs the deepest nourishment.’ ‘The deepest love I can give needs to be directed HERE so that anything which belongs to it can be transmuted within the oracle of my awareness.’

The more I practice this in my own life the more I pay witness to the power of ‘letting myself BE’. When self-doubt, fear or judgements pop up I learned to embrace the energy of myself in that moment as an honour of self-expression.

When we stop running away, turn to look ourselves straight in the eye, we see beyond and can behold the heart of the matter. In this manner of self-reflection many things become clear.

Nourish each part of you that needs it.

Recognise where an energy you would usually say ‘no’ to can be brought deep into the totality of who you are.

It is ALL part of your creation of Self.

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What is Giving?

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There is something happening with the love of the world right now. The other day I wrote about love and how one of the hardest things for me was to actually give love, to get into the energy of giving. It had always been a scary thing for me, to open my heart and just GIVE, freely to those around me. I always pulled back from it with a vengence as though the safest thing on Earth I could do was to cover away, to hide and to not BE in my own giving energy. It would not be true to say that one thing changed this for me, as many tunings have unfolded and I have dived deep into my being more than a few times to really feel into what is happening in there, however there was one DEFINING moment in which I remember very clearly feeling hugely open to the power of giving. Wathcing Bridget Nielsen (whose work I love) speak about the 5^th Dimensional vibration of ‘Service to others’ completely shook up something in me, a subtle yet powerful opening to a world I had avoided for a long time. Giving to others from my heart. It resonated so so deeply.
My sense is that all of the Unconditonal Love in the world lives right inside us, in our hearts, in our beings.
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There seemed to be a restriction inside me which I hadn’t been able to or wanted to shake off, the moment I turned my focus from doing my best to control this feeling to being of service to others everything changed. I felt an instant wave of relief run through me and honestly, my world suddenly made a lot more sense. There is something very powerful happening in my / the world right now which is guiding me forward into a state of absolute giving, in which my heart opens to share it’s light with the whole world. Simply, wholly and also because I KNOW that we all have this love within us so in this way I feel that I am giving and simultaneously sharing the love with every soul on the planet.

And as synchronicity has it’s own art form….this follows……

Yesterday I drove to Glastonbury (Avalon) for the sunrise. Later on in the day I lay on top of the Tor, belly to the Earth and sent my focus inwards. Inside myself and also into the womb of that place. Holding the inner structures of the Tor in my minds eye. I felt my etheric body pulsing with life in partnership with the energy of the Tor and surrounding lands. It was a completely unified wave. As I surrendered into this I was suddenly transported back to a childhood dream – when I was young I would pray every night for the Earth to be protected and for all beings to feel loved. Even from the age of 3 years old this was already hugely important to me and became a very organic expression of my desire to give.

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What I also saw / felt on top the Tor was the truth that ‘All is within us’. The space inside the cells of your body is not ‘empty’! It is our infinite potential. The infinite potential of anything we put our focus onto!
Your awareness is a light, and as you light up the darkness inside – aka – your internal space within, you are lighting up your desires, you are lighting up your very BEING because everything can be seen when we choose to hold it in the light of our awareness.
Whilst in this space I decided to re-birth that childhood intention – I saw all the beings on Earth illuminated in white light, filled with Love, in total knowing of their completeness. I felt a huge shift in my whole body as the energy of this thought rippled through me and out to the world. The emotion which surfaced alongside this was just PURE BLISS. Putting the feeling into words would not work. I cried and cried with gratitude at what an amazing life I have been blessed with.
I realised that this PURE frequency of gratitude is not attached to what you HAVE but is a by-product of who you are becoming, and actually already ARE inside.
It is a vibration which completely bowls me over and humbles me to my core every time.
What I came to terms with from this space was that ‘THIS IS GIVING.’ It is in the giving that we truly receive. My heart’s desire for all beings to feel Unconditionally Loved and filled with light was ignited within my own body as I am also, of course, one of those beings. The world we see around us is a mirror, and what we put out we get back – truly – it is a simple universal truth which is undeniable in it’s raw capacity to help us remember again and again who we truly are.
For me giving is following your heart’s deepest desire, embracing it and then sharing it FULLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY with the world. In whatever way. There is no formula, there are no rules, this is the truth of who you are and the entire world needs to see it!