Art of the Forest

In the fabric of such a notion as reality can the play of life ever cease?

Or is it us who open a doorway to the New Age?

Let the ego sleep its restless will

Cornering emotion the rising flow of healing’s devotion

Weep not for in its nature is the teaching.

Who are you who sees behind the lake house of silent awareness?

Who are you who seeks. Who meets life in full flight again and again.

Creaking bark and the tethered stark of dawn lit leaves.

Now smell the sweet pine as it adventures through you. Weaving in the pulsing beat of your own melodic composure.

Again let the ego rest its tired head upon the chest of my truth. Come into the embrace you long for, notice it all around you.

Lay the ego down to rest now and trust the family of your Soul.

Hear my voice in the shadows you speak from. Unzip any armour and be laid bear upon the sands of the present.

Let my shores crash over you, the cleansing salts of your truth being witnessed once more. Allow this. Allow this.

Sexuality ~ A lesson from Mother Earth ~

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For years in the western world our Sexual nature has been both covered up and exploited. We have been told to not be seen to be too Sexual and at the same time to purchase products whose media campaigns are based solely around the image of Sex Selling Best.

Many of you know how much the tide of sexual expression has been suppressed and is now re emerging with the voices of powerful women at it’s forefront. The process I describe below is one branch off the tree to an infinite number of healing stories.

Due to many social and cultural conditions I have grown up with a deep sense of what ~ ‘Beauty IS.’

A generic IDEA of what I need to do or who I need to be in order to feel that I am desirable to the world around me. This has translated out to all areas of my life however inside the world of relationships the programs are at their peak.

As soon as the build up to sexual interaction beckons I have in the past felt a deep sense of dread, as a survivor of sexual assault this fear has been part of my body’s language response and a ‘how do we stay safe this time’ strategy. However the mental dread is what I am referring to this time.

As I become more and more aware of my habitual thoughts and patterns I am of course also able to begin applying the power of my choice to direct this flow of mental activity in a more desirable direction on a consistent basis.

This morning I noticed a flurry of thoughts come forward. Whilst contemplating sexual encounters in general and how the overall Tabooed sexual world is truly rising to be seen in a new (and old) light, my thoughts turned inwards to myself and what this means for me on a personal level. Immediately ‘The Dread’ arose too. There was a DISTINCT fear of engagement with anyone on a sexual level, when I looked deeper and became the observer of my thoughts I saw that the reason was that I have been SO focussed on reaching a state where I felt I was suitable or even desireable enough to ENJOY the act itself!
Points such as – Will I do the right thing, say the right words, look the part in the ‘right’ way… I need to be thinner, prettier, sexier, more in touch with my body, eat less, eat more, wear this or that. Striving to be this perfect VERSION of what through cultural programming I learned to believe sensuality and sexuality are! As soon as I was able to see this within myself my focus immediately snapped back to my physical body, I had been walking my two dogs at the time and was standing on a grass path looking out at the stunning Dorset rolling hills. What came into my mind next was the complete contrast projected out on Mother Earth’s own canvas.

I saw how perfect she was, farmed or natural her beauty was eternal because of her existence. As I breathed in the view which lay before me I felt immense gratitude for Earth’s splendor. For her giving, for her Heart. Before me was THE PERFECT example of how whatever the texture of who we are, we are contributing to the whole in our own way. Watching the rays of the morning sun glide and dance around the tops of the hills I realised it was in fact the deeper elementals of nature which made her so beautiful. The light casting shadows on ‘unkept’ grass, the leaves filtering rainbow spectrums as they glide to the ground, the soft singing of a breeze carrying stories from other roaming pastures. All of these different parts of Mother Nature are what add to Her Beauty. And I was grateful again, to know deep in my being that this was another lesson in the truth of who I am.

Who I am as a woman embracing her sexuality, her sensuality. Who I am as a woman taking the road to Healing her Sexuality step by step, acknowledging each pass as a blessing.

Our Sexual Nature is part of who we are, it will ALWAYS be part of who we are. However numbed out, suppressed, denied or out of balance it has been it will ALWAYS still be what brought you into the world! And it is now time to heal it as much as we can. Individually, collectively, culturally, socially. To bring our pleasures into cohesive balance with our Hearts desire to Love one another. To know that it truly is ok to BE SEXUAL! And to enjoy the magic of union in our fullest capacity.

Focus on LOVE

Something that has been coming through from my horses recently is to be hyper aware of where my and ultimately ‘our’ focus IS, right now.

Life can seem very complex, in fact it IS complex. There are so many different ways we can function. Our mental capacity is multidimensional in its ability to split, open, frame, and create somehow all within the fractal of a moment. For those of you who have experienced the deep state of ‘Samadhi’ during mediation, or that somatic wave of joy whilst exploring the divinity of Mother Nature, you will have perhaps noticed what it feels like once our minds ‘turn back on’ or come back into the realm of ‘reality’ as we then come to know it. It can feel like a vast comparison to the ’emptiness’ of state we have experienced.

This mental stream is of course equally as valuable and when cultivated with awareness it can actually be one of your driving forces of authentic strength creation.

Collectively on the planet we are in a huge time of change, all over the globe we can see shifts in perspective arising, voices calling out, hearts expanding and moving into action, truths singing LOUD. There is A LOT of flux right now!

The time to recognise how powerful our focused intention really is is upon us. Use this extra special opening to notice where YOUR focus is. We can also use this time to ask ~ Where is my INNER flux at this time? How am I either changing now or in a tidal wave of capacity to do so?

Holding space for your focus to be known is important because you are in fact a microcosmic force within a vast network of collective outcomes. You literally ARE the living key to your own becoming. Where your thoughts are directing you is vital as it is where you will find yourself in some shape or form.

What I have noticed recently about the way my own mind behaves is that it is extremely well designed in the sense that it can, of its own accord, take me on a journey with a destination so far away from my original start point. It sometimes feels like ‘it’ is the driver, yet the larger aspect of my awareness knows that all things are actually in inextricable balance and can only come out of that play by virtue of my own choice on some level. Therefore there is no part of me which is not experiencing exactly what it is meant to in perfect accordance with my own development.

Using all our given traits as Human beings. Our thoughts, our feelings, our physical body, our intentional self, our etheric form; this is one of the many different elements to why we are here. To utilise ALL of ourselves IN the dynamic of Love. In conjunction with this there is no point in pushing away our thoughts or denying our emotions the freedom to be expressed, all of these elements exist in tandem with WHO YOU ARE. Honing your focus into Love does not mean denying the other feelings, it simply means going through your own personal process to reach a point where you realise that it always already exists within you, and can be called upon!

You cannot escape your nature, and your focus truly IS a spark in this world.

So as the horses are guiding – be available for WHATEVER YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE with the intention to ultimately bring your focus onto Love, a Love that is waiting with open arms, that constant embrace. May it be a case of simply recognising what is already present within so that we may be conscious creators in this world again and again.

Empaths and Horses

Horses are prey animals. What this means is that their ability to tune into their environment is one the most safe guard giving abilities they have. As I watch my horses I notice their DISTINCT capacity to tune into Mother Nature, it is quite extraordinary!
Now, for those of you who do not know; an Empath is a person who is also highly attuned to THEIR environment. This includes people, places, animals, scenarios, events, food and anything else you can think of that we come to meet in our day to day lives. Many people associate someone who is empathic to being ‘extra sensitive’, emotionally, physically etc to other people. However being an Empath essentially means that your sensitivity not just to the people in your world but also your WHOLE world is of an ACUTE degree. It is my personal belief that we actually ALL have empathic abilities once we turn them to ‘on’ enough to allow them to flow again.

When I was a child my abilities meant that the world actually seemed like a very scary place, intense, powerful, and in constant need of a type of navigation I just did not feel that I had at the time. So, like many people who are this sensitive I shut it all down. I said ‘no’ to the intensity and ‘yes’ to what I believed at the time
was an ‘easier’ way of functioning.

However as my world and work with animals continues to deepen the tides have changed. The sensitive nature of MY being I have discovered is in direct proportion to the sensitive essence and necessity of existence in the Horses (this includes Dogs as well however I will write more about them another time). They rely on being ‘Empathic’ with the world around them, including each other of course, in order to function in a harmonised way. The power of how present they are is at times even alarming to me as it brings into direct contrast how delicate the ‘nature of the beast’ truly is. And how truly valuable ones sensitive abilities ARE!

I watch them send ‘invisible’ messages to one another in such subtly that it takes a certain type of etheric or invisible nature in myself to witness. Every day I am held with the lesson of how to BE more like them in order to SEE at a deeper level what they are saying, and ultimately portraying as animals who have roamed with us for thousands of years.
I invite you to ask yourself on a daily basis – ‘Where do my sensitivies lie?’ ‘How can I become more attuned to my world so that I can see, hear, and feel at a much more profound level if needs be?’ ‘How can I become more attuned to my environment, with awareness and grace?’

Also ask ‘How do I currently feel about ‘being sensitive’ in general?’

In order to tune into our Horses from a different level it is important that we access the dimensions within us which are a match to theirs. That we also ride the wave of how THEY do things so that how we do things becomes much more complete, together.

Translating this out into the human world; we interact with people EVERYDAY. Even if you are taking a solo retreat out in nature away from the MASSES you still EXIST in an environment which is contributed to by many many others. As the Horses do so can we. Their hearing, seeing, sensing, all knowing vibe is as fully incarnate as our primal instincts as humans are. And yet our capacity to be both Prey and Predator is of equal stature. Tune into your world today, see what you pick up / feel / know. Trust it and KNOW that it is TRUTH.

Heart Touch

Touch me not in that way

With eyes half closed, unwilling to see me.

Touch me not in that way

From your skin only, the surface world.

For I am not there, you will not find me

My place of peace resides inside the fulcrum of all things.

What you were told about me is not true.

I do not want you to do what all the others do.

Be different. Be YOU.

Step forward with tentative feet into a place we can both meet.

Inside your chest is my focus, open the door to that forgotten land where you will find those sand dunes of time ever shifting and intertwined with your purpose for me.

Remember (y)our intention is Divine

That treasure of spirit-full connection lives deep inside the lines of

‘our unified reflection’.

Your love

Your trust

Your knowing

~ This is where I am ~ Always ready for our infinite embrace ~

So touch me not in that old way

With eyes half closed

Open your arms and become the soft fabric of space between our bodies.

This place of intimate relating, this is where my needs are seen.

Journey back home dear one for we are all living in the same Kingdom of Heaven.

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Falling into Being

Cascading down the line of fine infinite potential we witnessed the harshness and the gentle caress of a storms wings upon our faces. Swirling, curving our way we opened slowly but surely seeing the horizon we have all harboured inside ourselves.

What a taken solace it is to glance upwards and remember who we are. Who each person is and to gain momentum in our perspective of that such thing. When I do my best to look into the fulcrum point of this inner temple, I see one thing. A complete harmonious fluid structure of caring of sharing and of creation. In our creation the light will come forward and save our world that doesn’t need saving. It is us who are the savers and the saved the cautious and the brave the witness and the subject of a continuous unfolding.

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What is Giving?

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There is something happening with the love of the world right now. The other day I wrote about love and how one of the hardest things for me was to actually give love, to get into the energy of giving. It had always been a scary thing for me, to open my heart and just GIVE, freely to those around me. I always pulled back from it with a vengence as though the safest thing on Earth I could do was to cover away, to hide and to not BE in my own giving energy. It would not be true to say that one thing changed this for me, as many tunings have unfolded and I have dived deep into my being more than a few times to really feel into what is happening in there, however there was one DEFINING moment in which I remember very clearly feeling hugely open to the power of giving. Wathcing Bridget Nielsen (whose work I love) speak about the 5^th Dimensional vibration of ‘Service to others’ completely shook up something in me, a subtle yet powerful opening to a world I had avoided for a long time. Giving to others from my heart. It resonated so so deeply.
My sense is that all of the Unconditonal Love in the world lives right inside us, in our hearts, in our beings.
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There seemed to be a restriction inside me which I hadn’t been able to or wanted to shake off, the moment I turned my focus from doing my best to control this feeling to being of service to others everything changed. I felt an instant wave of relief run through me and honestly, my world suddenly made a lot more sense. There is something very powerful happening in my / the world right now which is guiding me forward into a state of absolute giving, in which my heart opens to share it’s light with the whole world. Simply, wholly and also because I KNOW that we all have this love within us so in this way I feel that I am giving and simultaneously sharing the love with every soul on the planet.

And as synchronicity has it’s own art form….this follows……

Yesterday I drove to Glastonbury (Avalon) for the sunrise. Later on in the day I lay on top of the Tor, belly to the Earth and sent my focus inwards. Inside myself and also into the womb of that place. Holding the inner structures of the Tor in my minds eye. I felt my etheric body pulsing with life in partnership with the energy of the Tor and surrounding lands. It was a completely unified wave. As I surrendered into this I was suddenly transported back to a childhood dream – when I was young I would pray every night for the Earth to be protected and for all beings to feel loved. Even from the age of 3 years old this was already hugely important to me and became a very organic expression of my desire to give.

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What I also saw / felt on top the Tor was the truth that ‘All is within us’. The space inside the cells of your body is not ‘empty’! It is our infinite potential. The infinite potential of anything we put our focus onto!
Your awareness is a light, and as you light up the darkness inside – aka – your internal space within, you are lighting up your desires, you are lighting up your very BEING because everything can be seen when we choose to hold it in the light of our awareness.
Whilst in this space I decided to re-birth that childhood intention – I saw all the beings on Earth illuminated in white light, filled with Love, in total knowing of their completeness. I felt a huge shift in my whole body as the energy of this thought rippled through me and out to the world. The emotion which surfaced alongside this was just PURE BLISS. Putting the feeling into words would not work. I cried and cried with gratitude at what an amazing life I have been blessed with.
I realised that this PURE frequency of gratitude is not attached to what you HAVE but is a by-product of who you are becoming, and actually already ARE inside.
It is a vibration which completely bowls me over and humbles me to my core every time.
What I came to terms with from this space was that ‘THIS IS GIVING.’ It is in the giving that we truly receive. My heart’s desire for all beings to feel Unconditionally Loved and filled with light was ignited within my own body as I am also, of course, one of those beings. The world we see around us is a mirror, and what we put out we get back – truly – it is a simple universal truth which is undeniable in it’s raw capacity to help us remember again and again who we truly are.
For me giving is following your heart’s deepest desire, embracing it and then sharing it FULLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY with the world. In whatever way. There is no formula, there are no rules, this is the truth of who you are and the entire world needs to see it!

Grounding to expand

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02/10/2018

The most amazing experience! I can hardly put into words how much emotion I am feeling. SO deeply humbled and grateful for the power of the horses.

I brought the horses into the barn and decided to do some healing with Florenzo. Whilst I had my hands on his body I felt a HUGE wave of unconditional love I really cannot describe it in words. I saw a light of unconiditonal love spreading from us out of the barn and across the land touching those Souls who need it. Honestly I cannot believe how in the BEING WITH and deciding to connect there can be so much joy and high vibrational emotion. Thank you so much for this incredibly moving experience!

I love this so much! I love the horses so much! They are my family and they are my life. Horses have always been my life force. In their breathe I breathe in their heart I find peace and fulfilment of self.

In their service to their own nature I fall to my knees in humbled awe. Honestly I jam struggling to grasp over how incredibly powerful and loving these animals are! I have never EVER felt like this in such a quick succession of moments

I say yes to more of this, in allowing it come in whatever way possible and whatever way it wants to come really.

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Poem for the horses from me.

With you I live, I breathe fully and I land into my body because I feel whole.

With you I see the universe as it is meant to be, infinite and home.

With you I feel such complete love my mind finds it’s still point as I dance into the expanse of the moment again and again, fruitfulness calls to the heart of me as I melt into your embrace. It is in this place I stand tall in my essence, my infancy, that focal point of my spirit.

When I am with you I feel like a Woman. I feel my sense of senses rising and am so much more present than in any other state.

With you I am whole, with you the entire world is known and the unknown is as safe as our next collective breathe together.

With you I can see exactly why I am here

With you I love every second of this existence for which I feel eternally grateful, with you.

With you all is possible and all has already happened.

With you the silence fills my heart singing sweet melodies of a truth long searched for now found here.

This is all part of the answer to my question ; ‘How can I make space for more light to come through into my being and all around me out the world’ This is how. To make space with the horses. To create a space with the horses like I have never before, how can they go so deep and be so simultaneously elevated in their energy. Incredible. As the journey continues I will discover I am sure!