When the power of Divine will moves through you, feel how you are a part of it’s creation.
In Stillness.
In Dance.
In Honour.
Tag: divinefeminine
Sexuality ~ A lesson from Mother Earth ~
For years in the western world our Sexual nature has been both covered up and exploited. We have been told to not be seen to be too Sexual and at the same time to purchase products whose media campaigns are based solely around the image of Sex Selling Best.
Many of you know how much the tide of sexual expression has been suppressed and is now re emerging with the voices of powerful women at it’s forefront. The process I describe below is one branch off the tree to an infinite number of healing stories.
Due to many social and cultural conditions I have grown up with a deep sense of what ~ ‘Beauty IS.’
A generic IDEA of what I need to do or who I need to be in order to feel that I am desirable to the world around me. This has translated out to all areas of my life however inside the world of relationships the programs are at their peak.
As soon as the build up to sexual interaction beckons I have in the past felt a deep sense of dread, as a survivor of sexual assault this fear has been part of my body’s language response and a ‘how do we stay safe this time’ strategy. However the mental dread is what I am referring to this time.
As I become more and more aware of my habitual thoughts and patterns I am of course also able to begin applying the power of my choice to direct this flow of mental activity in a more desirable direction on a consistent basis.
This morning I noticed a flurry of thoughts come forward. Whilst contemplating sexual encounters in general and how the overall Tabooed sexual world is truly rising to be seen in a new (and old) light, my thoughts turned inwards to myself and what this means for me on a personal level. Immediately ‘The Dread’ arose too. There was a DISTINCT fear of engagement with anyone on a sexual level, when I looked deeper and became the observer of my thoughts I saw that the reason was that I have been SO focussed on reaching a state where I felt I was suitable or even desireable enough to ENJOY the act itself!
Points such as – Will I do the right thing, say the right words, look the part in the ‘right’ way… I need to be thinner, prettier, sexier, more in touch with my body, eat less, eat more, wear this or that. Striving to be this perfect VERSION of what through cultural programming I learned to believe sensuality and sexuality are! As soon as I was able to see this within myself my focus immediately snapped back to my physical body, I had been walking my two dogs at the time and was standing on a grass path looking out at the stunning Dorset rolling hills. What came into my mind next was the complete contrast projected out on Mother Earth’s own canvas.
I saw how perfect she was, farmed or natural her beauty was eternal because of her existence. As I breathed in the view which lay before me I felt immense gratitude for Earth’s splendor. For her giving, for her Heart. Before me was THE PERFECT example of how whatever the texture of who we are, we are contributing to the whole in our own way. Watching the rays of the morning sun glide and dance around the tops of the hills I realised it was in fact the deeper elementals of nature which made her so beautiful. The light casting shadows on ‘unkept’ grass, the leaves filtering rainbow spectrums as they glide to the ground, the soft singing of a breeze carrying stories from other roaming pastures. All of these different parts of Mother Nature are what add to Her Beauty. And I was grateful again, to know deep in my being that this was another lesson in the truth of who I am.
Who I am as a woman embracing her sexuality, her sensuality. Who I am as a woman taking the road to Healing her Sexuality step by step, acknowledging each pass as a blessing.
Our Sexual Nature is part of who we are, it will ALWAYS be part of who we are. However numbed out, suppressed, denied or out of balance it has been it will ALWAYS still be what brought you into the world! And it is now time to heal it as much as we can. Individually, collectively, culturally, socially. To bring our pleasures into cohesive balance with our Hearts desire to Love one another. To know that it truly is ok to BE SEXUAL! And to enjoy the magic of union in our fullest capacity.
Nourishment – Look yourself in the Eye –
Remember ~ Any part of you which is creating the frequency of fear through thoughts, feelings, actions or beliefs, conscious or unconscious, known or unknown. Is a part of you calling out for the deepest nourishment. For you to embrace into your expansive awareness the totality of your experience rather than through a segmental perspective. You begin to see very clearly that those parts are part of the greater whole of life. Any energy attachment which creates a ‘reaction’ is difused by the choice to approach your full self with unconditional presence. Aware of the Ego, aware of the Heart, aware of the deepest truth that no one thing is better than the other. This aspect of our enlightenment holds boundless potential for inward and outward compassionate expression.
Rather than thinking this is a part of you to push away instead pull it towards you. Tune your being to remember that ‘This part of me needs the deepest nourishment.’ ‘The deepest love I can give needs to be directed HERE so that anything which belongs to it can be transmuted within the oracle of my awareness.’
The more I practice this in my own life the more I pay witness to the power of ‘letting myself BE’. When self-doubt, fear or judgements pop up I learned to embrace the energy of myself in that moment as an honour of self-expression.
When we stop running away, turn to look ourselves straight in the eye, we see beyond and can behold the heart of the matter. In this manner of self-reflection many things become clear.
Nourish each part of you that needs it.
Recognise where an energy you would usually say ‘no’ to can be brought deep into the totality of who you are.
It is ALL part of your creation of Self.
Heart Touch
Touch me not in that way
With eyes half closed, unwilling to see me.
Touch me not in that way
From your skin only, the surface world.
For I am not there, you will not find me
My place of peace resides inside the fulcrum of all things.
What you were told about me is not true.
I do not want you to do what all the others do.
Be different. Be YOU.
Step forward with tentative feet into a place we can both meet.
Inside your chest is my focus, open the door to that forgotten land where you will find those sand dunes of time ever shifting and intertwined with your purpose for me.
Remember (y)our intention is Divine
That treasure of spirit-full connection lives deep inside the lines of
‘our unified reflection’.
Your love
Your trust
Your knowing
~ This is where I am ~ Always ready for our infinite embrace ~
So touch me not in that old way
With eyes half closed
Open your arms and become the soft fabric of space between our bodies.
This place of intimate relating, this is where my needs are seen.
Journey back home dear one for we are all living in the same Kingdom of Heaven.
What is Giving?
There is something happening with the love of the world right now. The other day I wrote about love and how one of the hardest things for me was to actually give love, to get into the energy of giving. It had always been a scary thing for me, to open my heart and just GIVE, freely to those around me. I always pulled back from it with a vengence as though the safest thing on Earth I could do was to cover away, to hide and to not BE in my own giving energy. It would not be true to say that one thing changed this for me, as many tunings have unfolded and I have dived deep into my being more than a few times to really feel into what is happening in there, however there was one DEFINING moment in which I remember very clearly feeling hugely open to the power of giving. Wathcing Bridget Nielsen (whose work I love) speak about the 5th Dimensional vibration of ‘Service to others’ completely shook up something in me, a subtle yet powerful opening to a world I had avoided for a long time. Giving to others from my heart. It resonated so so deeply.
My sense is that all of the Unconditonal Love in the world lives right inside us, in our hearts, in our beings.
There seemed to be a restriction inside me which I hadn’t been able to or wanted to shake off, the moment I turned my focus from doing my best to control this feeling to being of service to others everything changed. I felt an instant wave of relief run through me and honestly, my world suddenly made a lot more sense. There is something very powerful happening in my / the world right now which is guiding me forward into a state of absolute giving, in which my heart opens to share it’s light with the whole world. Simply, wholly and also because I KNOW that we all have this love within us so in this way I feel that I am giving and simultaneously sharing the love with every soul on the planet.
And as synchronicity has it’s own art form….this follows……
Yesterday I drove to Glastonbury (Avalon) for the sunrise. Later on in the day I lay on top of the Tor, belly to the Earth and sent my focus inwards. Inside myself and also into the womb of that place. Holding the inner structures of the Tor in my minds eye. I felt my etheric body pulsing with life in partnership with the energy of the Tor and surrounding lands. It was a completely unified wave. As I surrendered into this I was suddenly transported back to a childhood dream – when I was young I would pray every night for the Earth to be protected and for all beings to feel loved. Even from the age of 3 years old this was already hugely important to me and became a very organic expression of my desire to give.
What I also saw / felt on top the Tor was the truth that ‘All is within us’. The space inside the cells of your body is not ‘empty’! It is our infinite potential. The infinite potential of anything we put our focus onto!
Your awareness is a light, and as you light up the darkness inside – aka – your internal space within, you are lighting up your desires, you are lighting up your very BEING because everything can be seen when we choose to hold it in the light of our awareness.
Whilst in this space I decided to re-birth that childhood intention – I saw all the beings on Earth illuminated in white light, filled with Love, in total knowing of their completeness. I felt a huge shift in my whole body as the energy of this thought rippled through me and out to the world. The emotion which surfaced alongside this was just PURE BLISS. Putting the feeling into words would not work. I cried and cried with gratitude at what an amazing life I have been blessed with.
I realised that this PURE frequency of gratitude is not attached to what you HAVE but is a by-product of who you are becoming, and actually already ARE inside.
It is a vibration which completely bowls me over and humbles me to my core every time.
What I came to terms with from this space was that ‘THIS IS GIVING.’ It is in the giving that we truly receive. My heart’s desire for all beings to feel Unconditionally Loved and filled with light was ignited within my own body as I am also, of course, one of those beings. The world we see around us is a mirror, and what we put out we get back – truly – it is a simple universal truth which is undeniable in it’s raw capacity to help us remember again and again who we truly are.
For me giving is following your heart’s deepest desire, embracing it and then sharing it FULLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY with the world. In whatever way. There is no formula, there are no rules, this is the truth of who you are and the entire world needs to see it!
The Light in our Freedom
As my time with the animals in my life has developed, along with own personal consciousness we have arrived at a rather lovely scenario of shared intention.
Every day when I leave the horses for the evening I ask myself ‘ How do I want the horses to feel? ‘
The answer to this question has, like all things, evolved. However for the past few months the answer is always the same – I want my horses to feel –
‘Unconditionally Loved. With the highest possible outcome in mind, may they feel that they are capable of achieving whatever their Heart’s Desire is. Held in a space of absolute potential and Divine Love.’
This may sounds strange to some. The horse’s ‘Heart’s Desire’, but I believe that all beings are on a trajectory of intentional creation. Whether that is on an energetic or physical level. All beings have an emotive transparency which they emit constantly, how much we are aware of this is the question I have asked myself MANY times. ‘How much am I listening?’ ‘How can I hear more clearly the voice of this Heart space between us.’
Thus the intentional light I choose to hold my horses in is one of expansion and of unfolding into their Heart’s Desires. My duty is to show up for them in a way which translates desire to outcome if needs be.
Now from the perspective of all things being One there is of course an intertwining with my own sense of feeling free. The intention for my horses stems from one of my deepest intentions for myself. To feel completely unbound by pressure and to roam inside the present moment with my sense of self wholly celebrated.
Many times I have felt the wires of my own integrity cross with those of our cultural belief systems. Seeking something which my mind told me was outside the ‘norm’. Holding myself back because of a generic idea of what ‘being acceptable’ is. The shift came the moment I saw I was the one applying pressure as much as I was the one feeling pressurized. There was no visible or attainable external force, it was a battle waged on the inside. Slowly I began to unravel the chains of expectation I had created as a byproduct of societal structure. I began feeling into the new world of being present with ME rather than chasing an unattainable ‘idea’ which morphs out of view as soon as you come close. The ultimate mirage.
Being able to be WHOEVER WE WANT TO BE. This is freedom for me. Not the action itself but the FEELING. Because once we are in that state the action of genuine authentic speech, thoughts and connection become second nature. Condition free.
Being whoever I want to be – what does this look like? If I was to explain it to someone who may have a completely different sense for what that is what would I say?
Feeling free means that ALWAYS, under ALL circumstances, with ALL people, things and in all places – putting your own truth first, and arriving at a place where this is your HIGHEST option taken. Where YOUR voice matters because you have come to terms with what it sounds like. Where who you actually ARE in that moment is far more important than anything else.
There are many different roads you can take towards living in your Heart as a dedication to loving yourself more. Whether it is freedom, raising your voice, being seen, being heard, attending to your world with humility, unbinding yourself from the past to live more fully in bond with the NOW, the path itself will ultimately create a MUCH deeper sense of recognising who you are.
As I sit here in deep reflection upon the intricate web of life and all things included, I set my intention for the day:
‘That the highest possible option may come to pass for all beings, and may the unity of our hearts ring true with what freedom looks like on an individual and collective level.’
Temple of Light
This morning, actually just moment ago whilst sitting in meditation here in London in my Mother’s home – As I was drawing energy down from my crown into my lower chakras, I felt a presence near my womb. I saw myself going straight into her existence and what I saw was a huge, massive dark space. The infinite. This is what I felt there. In my womb. Inside my body. The infinite. The space which all things or form can be created and also the space where the stillness of our evolution resides. It felt as though nothing was there at all and in that nothingness there was silence and bliss. Then as I moved further down into my Mother Earth’s Heart and back up to my own physical heart I felt and saw and knew that the Temple of Light was in this place. The Temple of Light resides inside my own heart, inside my own heart space. This Temple of Light is within us, we are born of it with it because of it and in delightful revery holding hands with the dancing nature of her being. We are the Temple of Light. As I placed my hands on my heart I verbally gave thanks to my ancestors, guides, spirits, guardian angels, Angels, Ascended Masters and ET Beneolvant beings – inside me I felt a huge pull of emotion from my heart into my higher chakras, a few tears came and I just felt so grateful overall. So so grateful for how much light I have already received and how much light already exists in us ALL. I cannot stipulate this enough – the Temple of Light lives in every single heart on this Earth. In every single mind on this Earth and in every single body. The Temple of Light is you and you are it. So completely one, connected, you are the way and the path. You are all the elects on that path and you are all the elements to come. Truly dear one you are the Light in the sky at night, the power of the Sun and the rays of Golden wisdom from every setting Sun imaginable. You are the tides of the ocean the kissing wind of a winter’s day, your light lives on in every heart you see and meet so PLEASE acknowledge how we can all come to greet in a place of forgiveness and compassion. PLEASE come to see how bright you already are and that all your experiences are guiding you steadily towards the light within. All your experiences are helping you BE more of the light you came to share with the world. This is why in so many spiritual teachings you will here that it is in the BEING – or that by your presence alone you make a difference. This is true and it is BECAUSE you are ALREADY the difference which has been made. We are here in form to share this to see this, to become more of this and all of the tangible events which we create for ourselves are literally helping us see the light again. We came here not knowing so that we can know once again that it is not IN the knowing that we become more of what we want, it is in the recognition of who we actually already ARE. Again and again I have heard this, again and again I have felt this, not in huge bursts but in the subtle presences of guidance through my physical body. Remember me – she seems to say – remember me because inside is the Way, inside is the journey you seek to impart upon. You already are the journey and the journeyer, you actually ARE the destination already, so as we flip into ourselves everyday seeming to move through life in the perfect way all which surrounds us melts away when we enter the Temple of Light and witness the Divinity at play.
In our hearts we are one coming forever undone until nothing is left but the void of our breathe. As one we inhale and caste our design forth to be unveiled. Again and again unravelling in this dance of nothing we are actually creating ourselves in this cutting of cords of abrasions stepping into our power and celebration WE ARE ONE. We are one, we are one.
In this Temple of Light which you enter after a remembrance of how to truly surrender to the Onesness within where all veils are thin, gone entirely and in your wake stands the one who dares simply to BE present in your own awakening. The one who needs nothing but sees how important the missions to keep giving is. We are here to expand to grown and to remember, our Soul’s intwined with the joy of surrender. Each experience valid and totally true for YOU my dear the way can be clear when you learn to just trust that there is a higher point in every choice. We are the unvierse at large and so how can we create a world within us which consist of the o
We are the universe at large so how can we create a world within us where personal choice is the most important point of contact. Where our recognition is our enlightenment, and where there is NOTHING outside of you which holds favour over your capability to be brave enough to take charge of what you see and to CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR DESTINY. DO IT NOW and see what happens. Please because every time you decide to take a step towards your own Divinity others being to glow in the choice of your own remembrance.
Mabon Ode to Our Mother
~ For the woman who burns and my sisters who continue to rise ~
We are bounty and bountiful we are beautiful and torn apart. The Soul’s truth was sundered until the meld of our Divine Mother was hear again. Inside us she began to rise, to be born in our surrounding and to sing her cry of presence into the world.
Through that melting crack her magic found its place amongst our faith as the stories which were woven became truths once again chose.
For on our shoulders we took the brunt of the world, carrying the hurt and the pain and the grief of SO many who were too broken to weep.
My family’s scars are etched onto my heart because the destiny of one is the ocean of many, tell me again how are we meat to hold steady? We are not!
For as we crumble and fall there is no shame in loosing it all the will of the one who is being reborn. Our power lives on, our vulnerability is strong and the you in me is forever free as we cradle the world in Her eternity.
When the thought of who you SHOULD be arises, remember that the simplest call of your expression is your willingness to be individual. To shine because yo have a light to turn on and to turn up. Illuminate your Soul through the shadows of tomorrow’s creation, to not stay stationary upon the foundation that was build not by you but by another. Rebuild the will to stand tall inside so that the sky can witness your becoming again, the depth of your song lives on and is heard in every inner ear that is ready to hear the texture of who YOU ARE.
And as the light in us reaches forth testing the water so does our darkness, our unseen support. You are real you are pure you are raw you are true. In all your ways, without any other face than the one your heart shows yo in the mirror of this grace-full place.
Our fragility tells tales of the strength that is to come because Wo(man) – We Are One.
Even thought I directly address the feminine here these words speak to the Divine Feminine Nature in us ALL. Men and Women. For us to truly rise we must first see that the idea of separation is an idea alone and where one idea is born another can take form.
This is our time to expand 