Be with me

As I sat with the horses this morning, their messages swept over me, helping me bask in their expansive energy. Horses are able to dive so quickly and easily into the space between worlds. Their sense of reality always a guage for us to steer into and observe, experientially upholding a validation for their ability to roam the dimensions with ease.

This morning my intention was to go deep into that meditative space with them. The first thing I noticed however was the intense pounding of my mind! Stopping for a moment had helped me see where all my focus has been. Thoughts were whirling around my head, an unstoppable fire caught in the wind, spreading in an erratic, unpredictable way, thoughts about updating my website, about which posts should go where in relation to how relevant each piece of writing is for the reader. Thoughts about my blog…Yes, all this was still whirling around in my head. I have read that there is a high number of people who had never experienced anxiety until they joined social media. I can very easily see how that could be true. It felt like too much, an overwhelming force of overactivity inside me. I have had this tendency, to be too ‘in my head’. It feels like friction through body when this happens, an uninhabited land. As I sat I did my best to breathe back into my body, to calm my mind and focus, focus on expanding my awareness to include that of the horses. To feel them.

Latina came over then, she stood with me and instantly the message came through:

“The ‘Horse frequency’ is the ‘Heart frequency.’” She helped me drop into my heart centre and stay there, not just there though, everywhere, expanding outward. Her message was clear, ‘BE with me’. That was all, no fluffy details about why, for what reason, or how…. The message was so clear that in its clarity the sense it made was perfect. Just ‘Be with me’. Be with me. My intention had been to go into space with them, but how could I do that in the way I wanted to if I was not showing up for / with them. I watch how they are all so present with each other, engaging exactly when the other needs it, moving in a synchronistic melody, the way they innately interact is a dance which at times rages and at times breathes life from stillness.

Horses ARE the present moment, I have never experienced such a transition from a state of mental flurry to heart calming expanse, never so quickly or as gently as with the horses. Their ability to bring us from one state into another is, in my book, as powerful as any other guide on Earth.

So the sitting and learning to ‘BE’ continued… Toby came forward to bathe in the energy Latina and I were sharing he also had a message, expanding upon what we were already feeling into he offered his wise perspective as always. He said that it is about me Being with them on all levels, not solely from my heart, but on ALL levels. Showing up from where I was from and entering into all things around them. When we drop into our hearts we DO feel ALL things. As they do. It is so simple really when I think about it – offering them a sate of being to experience and be around which mirrors their own inherent nature. ‘Being the Horse’ in their presence. Changing my energy to match theirs means that sharing space with them becomes boundless.

So much more has to be said for the power of Horses, we all know deep down (or close to the surface) that these beings are special. Their history, the positions they hold in our world, from athletes to workers to therapist they have been loved, ignored, revered, misunderstood, mistreated, and used… despite all of this our horses ARE our guides, they point us inwards with every step, they hold space for us regardless of whether we are conscious about how much we need them to or not. They do. Every single being on this planet has a message, people, animals, plants, the elements – everything holds a current of truth we can tap into. When we do, when we are able to feel the frequency of that thing, it is important to nurture it – to allow it to expand – to BE WITH it. Loving that thing into a deeper existence so that you can carry it with your every step.

When they called me to BE WITH THEM they were also calling me to BE LIKE THEM, to hold space and morph into their flow. Receiving the information they have to impart happens when I shift and we meet in the middle. When I meet them where they know to go. Toby has been my eternal teacher – always helping me go deeper, see more. He taught me today that receiving the information they have to share actually happens when we BECOME the receiver. By this I mean when we tune ourselves into a more receptive mode of experiencing information. Hearing, seeing, feeling the ALL. He showed me that just as our DNA is said to be where we download high frequency information from, our attention, our focus is also that way. Our attention can be a receiver as well as have a gauging point, it can input as well as output. This lead me to question where the majority of my focus is, day to day, night to night, what is my focus shining on? Where is it? Horses bring us home, in a myriad of ways. Tuning into their energy so that we can BE WITH EACH OTHER is what makes the difference as we move through this remembering relationship of Oneness.

Grids, Horses, Healing.

Tonight with Oli in the arena she showed me an image of us simply connecting. So I un clicked her leap rope, and went and stood by the fence across the arena from her.

As I knelt down and looked at her I felt the connection clock into place. We were connected in the space between us and inside us both, inside her, inside me. We were one. As I looked at her eyes, her ears, and her body there was a distinct sense of something so much larger than those things. Something so much larger than the US who were standing there. There was a spaceousness in which she was communicating to me from / in. As though she was the space and so was I, so there was no separation between who we were together. At times I lost my focus and responded to certain thoughts flittering through my head. When I was able to regain that feeling of expanse I projected an image of to her of her turning towards me. I wanted this to happen. Perhaps it was because of my wanting that it did not happen. I know she felt the image, however she did not turn towards me. Why? I don’t know right now. Asking for things rarely get’s me anywhere with Olympia, the majority of the time She is the one who leads. What I do know is that she had a very important message for me. Not just one but many, she had many important messages for me to bare witness to in that timeless place between us. When there is connection with the horses like this it its as though, in the moment I am aware of time but when I write about it afterwards it becomes clear to me that there was no time present there. There was nothing but the connection, the connection is spaceous timelessness. It is incredible really.

Eventually I walked over to Oli. She responded when I put my hand out for her. I felt my personality come back in, my fears, my doubts, my lack of belief in myself (funny because this morning in my meditation I spoke about how I believe in my power, how I believe in my gifts and how I have these gifts in order to help the world). Here though, standing with Oli I felt it all rush in, all the thoughts I have been thinking over the last few days, weeks! All the incongruent happenings inside me which are so completely the opposite to what we had just been experiencing. In that moment I felt two things at the same time – VERY HUMBLED – AND VERY SHITTY. I felt shitty that I was feeling that way and I felt humbled as I stood in what I was aware of as the presence of such a deeply grounding amazing essence that Olympia was giving off. She just stood there. All knowing. Totally still, whilst this inferno was going on inside me. Totally authentic and macrocosmically present / available / watching. It was as though she saw and knew everything, not from the past or future but because she was listening to my Soul Listening to my Heart and being present with it’s unravelling.

I love her for this. How she does it. It’s incredible to me and always a stark realisation against my own, at times, lack of presence for myself, or for those in my life. How she can stand in her own vibration in to such a degree moves something in me. While I was experiencing all of this I felt a deep rising sensation in my head, in my Third Eye Chakra, Crown and Throat. As though I was being suffocated. I realised that this is what I feel like when I am out of balance, and too much in my mind. This is what it feels like for me. What we had experienced together was spaceousness, what this was was like a crammed and full room. It was a stark contrast indeed.

She simply stood there looking at me. She did not move a muscle. Her eye saying everything she needed to communicate. Which was that we were still One, she was helping me feel into the different states of being one can experience throughout the day. All the infinite moments we are ‘awakening’, how asleep we can feel and how alive we can feel. She was helping me feel this because she knew that this is something I needed to see. I cried then, placing my hands on my heart I simply stood there and cried, allowing the emotion to run through me, over me, as she stood patiently holding space for it to unfurl. There was no-where to go and nothing different to be, do or say. She simply held space and watched, like an eternal Mother as I stepping into a fractal of my emotional self needing to be seen at that time, and actually for a while now. When the wave had subsided I still felt heady yet the energy which had been there before had was now changed. We were still One, in a new world again, every moment is like this with her.

After asking her if there was anything else she wanted to say / do / be, and receiving a ‘no’ we went back to the barn where the other horses were waiting.

She is so profound, this mare who sees all, constantly knowing where to place her Heart’s hand onto me, helping, guiding, translating aspects of the world my human perspective does not take in at times.

Olympia is the perfect combination of intensely aloof and infitely loving. So whenever she signals me to come near her, stand close to her and connect, or simply place my forehead to hers in deep recognition, these moments are glorious for me. Back in the barn we had one of these moments, she sent the image across of me hugging her around the neck so I oblidged. My heart burst into expanse at the gesture and I felt like a child being mothered. There is no greater experience than acting in response to having truly listened to someone. The alignment is out of this world.

She showed me this.

Once we were back in the barn I noticed Florenzo was in a DEEP state of either meditation or universal travel. He was completely ‘gone’. Latina was stood behind him also in ‘state’. Toby right at the back of the barn, in stillness but more here than the others.

Drawing closer to Florenzo I began brushing him to which he threw me an extremely irritated glare. There was something in the air which I was not hearing but could feel, a message which I was skirting around but not touching. Aware of the ‘time’ and wanting to get them out to the field again I moved away from Flo to brush Latina and Toby, whilst I was doing this I did something I used to do a lot when we were living in Hampshire. I asked the Angels who protect to place balls of protection and healing around each of the horses. Allowing each horse to draw into their auric field anything they specifically needed at any time, in any way. An infinite Angelic ball of light essentially. That is how I have always seen it anyway. Today though it was different. As I began the process I felt a real incongruency, or ‘itch’ away from what I was doing. Something just wasn’t sitting right. So I stopped, looked into what it was and the words ‘Healing Geometric Grid’ appeared. The balls of infinite healing I had previously imagined around the horses had now become VERY specific Geometric Patterned Grids. As soon as I saw and felt these grids I took a huge deep breathe and knew that was the truth. These horses had drawn in, set up, and were resting INSIDE healing Grids.

Florenzo had previously mentioned Sacred Geometry and Healing Grids before. Explaining how they heal, Healing Grids, he has mentioned this A LOT actually. I have various different notes about this in the notebook I take with me when I go and sit with them in the field. This time it was more evident to me because rather than writing it down as a concept I actually was guided INTO the energy of what he was talking about. It was as though my conecpt of a healing circle was outdated and what they were showing me was a very big upgrade!

When the horses communicate something collectively to me there is a re-aligning which happens. Whereby any pervious ideas of mine tend to get realigned too. As though we are all going through an ‘upgrade’ is the best way for me to describe it. This can be very ‘broad’ or very ‘finite’ it doesnt really matter and is not important except in terms of explaining the different threads of energy which they are able to inherently transmit and remind us of. It is like everything shifts from one frequency to another, from one version to another, from one reality to another. Then in the new place there is new everything, nothing existed before that place or after. It is like the eternal OM or the eternal Samadhi or the eternal-ness of space inside us. A shifting of reality, moment upon moment.

What is TRUE unity?

True unity is the product of absolute validation of all of the individual differences between us, as each piece of a puzzle has to be a certain shape in order to connect with the other pieces around it to create ‘the whole’. As are we. When we stand in our truth and validate who we are in our uniqueness we actually see that this individuation is part of what MAKES us that already perfect fit. When we begin to create a sense of peace with our choices, our voices and our ‘way’, we can also acknowledge and be grateful for the way of others, CARE about the way of others, and ultimately help paint a new state of self-recognition, thus encompassing a larger whole through the perspective of the One part.

Temple of Light

This morning, actually just moment ago whilst sitting in meditation here in London in my Mother’s home – As I was drawing energy down from my crown into my lower chakras, I felt a presence near my womb. I saw myself going straight into her existence and what I saw was a huge, massive dark space. The infinite. This is what I felt there. In my womb. Inside my body. The infinite. The space which all things or form can be created and also the space where the stillness of our evolution resides. It felt as though nothing was there at all and in that nothingness there was silence and bliss. Then as I moved further down into my Mother Earth’s Heart and back up to my own physical heart I felt and saw and knew that the Temple of Light was in this place. The Temple of Light resides inside my own heart, inside my own heart space. This Temple of Light is within us, we are born of it with it because of it and in delightful revery holding hands with the dancing nature of her being. We are the Temple of Light. As I placed my hands on my heart I verbally gave thanks to my ancestors, guides, spirits, guardian angels, Angels, Ascended Masters and ET Beneolvant beings – inside me I felt a huge pull of emotion from my heart into my higher chakras, a few tears came and I just felt so grateful overall. So so grateful for how much light I have already received and how much light already exists in us ALL. I cannot stipulate this enough – the Temple of Light lives in every single heart on this Earth. In every single mind on this Earth and in every single body. The Temple of Light is you and you are it. So completely one, connected, you are the way and the path. You are all the elects on that path and you are all the elements to come. Truly dear one you are the Light in the sky at night, the power of the Sun and the rays of Golden wisdom from every setting Sun imaginable. You are the tides of the ocean the kissing wind of a winter’s day, your light lives on in every heart you see and meet so PLEASE acknowledge how we can all come to greet in a place of forgiveness and compassion. PLEASE come to see how bright you already are and that all your experiences are guiding you steadily towards the light within. All your experiences are helping you BE more of the light you came to share with the world. This is why in so many spiritual teachings you will here that it is in the BEING – or that by your presence alone you make a difference. This is true and it is BECAUSE you are ALREADY the difference which has been made. We are here in form to share this to see this, to become more of this and all of the tangible events which we create for ourselves are literally helping us see the light again. We came here not knowing so that we can know once again that it is not IN the knowing that we become more of what we want, it is in the recognition of who we actually already ARE. Again and again I have heard this, again and again I have felt this, not in huge bursts but in the subtle presences of guidance through my physical body. Remember me – she seems to say – remember me because inside is the Way, inside is the journey you seek to impart upon. You already are the journey and the journeyer, you actually ARE the destination already, so as we flip into ourselves everyday seeming to move through life in the perfect way all which surrounds us melts away when we enter the Temple of Light and witness the Divinity at play.

In our hearts we are one coming forever undone until nothing is left but the void of our breathe. As one we inhale and caste our design forth to be unveiled. Again and again unravelling in this dance of nothing we are actually creating ourselves in this cutting of cords of abrasions stepping into our power and celebration WE ARE ONE. We are one, we are one.

In this Temple of Light which you enter after a remembrance of how to truly surrender to the Onesness within where all veils are thin, gone entirely and in your wake stands the one who dares simply to BE present in your own awakening. The one who needs nothing but sees how important the missions to keep giving is. We are here to expand to grown and to remember, our Soul’s intwined with the joy of surrender. Each experience valid and totally true for YOU my dear the way can be clear when you learn to just trust that there is a higher point in every choice. We are the unvierse at large and so how can we create a world within us which consist of the o

We are the universe at large so how can we create a world within us where personal choice is the most important point of contact. Where our recognition is our enlightenment, and where there is NOTHING outside of you which holds favour over your capability to be brave enough to take charge of what you see and to CHANGE THE COURSE OF YOUR DESTINY. DO IT NOW and see what happens. Please because every time you decide to take a step towards your own Divinity others being to glow in the choice of your own remembrance.

Mending my relationship with my body

Over time many things have drawn me towards seeking revival in knowledge about my physical body. Through different Craniosacral Trainings, Reiki, Advanced Healing, Shamanic Journeying, and my own deep inner work which I have done for what feels like 13 years, through all of these different modalities and avenues of exploration I feel that my body has had A LOT to say. Some of which I kept hidden away and some I listened to. It’s the listening which holds the healing for me. Truly.

My relationship with my body has always been turbulent, from a very young age I found the act of actually being IN my body challenging, even though from where I am sitting now I can see that it has been a total blessing as I navigated my way through this world it was my body which housed me. It was my body which enabled me to do things like run through the fields towards the horses, ride, jump, climb, swim and sit in my favourite newly found spots upon this Earth.

Sometimes it is very easy to think about where we are right now, what feels right right now and then it is also important to remember a time when we felt very different so that we can bring our consciousness into the unfolding nature of our truth. We are always changing, always playing and merging reforming and moulding again into new ways of being. I have been through this, I know it to be part of MY truth. I want to know what your’s is too.

Our physical bodies are our vessels of light, literally. The photons in our body are emitting light all of the time, the amount of light fluctuates with our energetic metabolism, mood, frequency, thoughts, how well we take care of ourselves etc.

And so we ARE light. Already. What we need to do to make sure we shine is to begin thinking of ways to expand this light. To expand ourselves.

There is healing to be found in the physical body, always. Not only are we carrying the memories of our forefathers and mothers in our DNA but also we have literally chosen our particular physical forms to inhabit for a reason, and this reason is always Love.

The journey of coming back to Loving ourselves on a physical level can be deep and feel long but I PROMISE you the more you curve your focus into expanding your light inwards to discover those nooks and crannies of your bodies make up you will have so many benefits showered upon you!

Poem from my body to my soul ~

In many ways you used to cull me – to cut me off and create havoc in me.

How I used to want to breathe you forward and kiss your face, helping you see that all was well because we are together, because we have created a world within worlds as One.

Remembering yourself was difficult, not because of me but because of We. Our light is bright but no-one could see, how can we help people if we shut off our own precious centre of guidance?

Through sunrise and sunset we gained strength but what of the heart? Our centrepiece. What of the still existence of all things inside this home. We are here as One, we return to One and we are made from One. Come now into the light and be seen again Woman for you are magnificent and you are holy, you are right and you are your own sovereign. Transfer the question of why to the reality of because, because we are here, because we have chosen and because we exist! Exist unto yourself and shine forth in this way so that others can see your face in the heart of all things. Your heart in the words you say, the moves you paint and the dance which echoes again and again through your bones. You are one with the world Dilara. You are one with the light.

Awakening-to-the-Divine