Sexuality ~ A lesson from Mother Earth ~

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For years in the western world our Sexual nature has been both covered up and exploited. We have been told to not be seen to be too Sexual and at the same time to purchase products whose media campaigns are based solely around the image of Sex Selling Best.

Many of you know how much the tide of sexual expression has been suppressed and is now re emerging with the voices of powerful women at it’s forefront. The process I describe below is one branch off the tree to an infinite number of healing stories.

Due to many social and cultural conditions I have grown up with a deep sense of what ~ ‘Beauty IS.’

A generic IDEA of what I need to do or who I need to be in order to feel that I am desirable to the world around me. This has translated out to all areas of my life however inside the world of relationships the programs are at their peak.

As soon as the build up to sexual interaction beckons I have in the past felt a deep sense of dread, as a survivor of sexual assault this fear has been part of my body’s language response and a ‘how do we stay safe this time’ strategy. However the mental dread is what I am referring to this time.

As I become more and more aware of my habitual thoughts and patterns I am of course also able to begin applying the power of my choice to direct this flow of mental activity in a more desirable direction on a consistent basis.

This morning I noticed a flurry of thoughts come forward. Whilst contemplating sexual encounters in general and how the overall Tabooed sexual world is truly rising to be seen in a new (and old) light, my thoughts turned inwards to myself and what this means for me on a personal level. Immediately ‘The Dread’ arose too. There was a DISTINCT fear of engagement with anyone on a sexual level, when I looked deeper and became the observer of my thoughts I saw that the reason was that I have been SO focussed on reaching a state where I felt I was suitable or even desireable enough to ENJOY the act itself!
Points such as – Will I do the right thing, say the right words, look the part in the ‘right’ way… I need to be thinner, prettier, sexier, more in touch with my body, eat less, eat more, wear this or that. Striving to be this perfect VERSION of what through cultural programming I learned to believe sensuality and sexuality are! As soon as I was able to see this within myself my focus immediately snapped back to my physical body, I had been walking my two dogs at the time and was standing on a grass path looking out at the stunning Dorset rolling hills. What came into my mind next was the complete contrast projected out on Mother Earth’s own canvas.

I saw how perfect she was, farmed or natural her beauty was eternal because of her existence. As I breathed in the view which lay before me I felt immense gratitude for Earth’s splendor. For her giving, for her Heart. Before me was THE PERFECT example of how whatever the texture of who we are, we are contributing to the whole in our own way. Watching the rays of the morning sun glide and dance around the tops of the hills I realised it was in fact the deeper elementals of nature which made her so beautiful. The light casting shadows on ‘unkept’ grass, the leaves filtering rainbow spectrums as they glide to the ground, the soft singing of a breeze carrying stories from other roaming pastures. All of these different parts of Mother Nature are what add to Her Beauty. And I was grateful again, to know deep in my being that this was another lesson in the truth of who I am.

Who I am as a woman embracing her sexuality, her sensuality. Who I am as a woman taking the road to Healing her Sexuality step by step, acknowledging each pass as a blessing.

Our Sexual Nature is part of who we are, it will ALWAYS be part of who we are. However numbed out, suppressed, denied or out of balance it has been it will ALWAYS still be what brought you into the world! And it is now time to heal it as much as we can. Individually, collectively, culturally, socially. To bring our pleasures into cohesive balance with our Hearts desire to Love one another. To know that it truly is ok to BE SEXUAL! And to enjoy the magic of union in our fullest capacity.

Focus on LOVE

Something that has been coming through from my horses recently is to be hyper aware of where my and ultimately ‘our’ focus IS, right now.

Life can seem very complex, in fact it IS complex. There are so many different ways we can function. Our mental capacity is multidimensional in its ability to split, open, frame, and create somehow all within the fractal of a moment. For those of you who have experienced the deep state of ‘Samadhi’ during mediation, or that somatic wave of joy whilst exploring the divinity of Mother Nature, you will have perhaps noticed what it feels like once our minds ‘turn back on’ or come back into the realm of ‘reality’ as we then come to know it. It can feel like a vast comparison to the ’emptiness’ of state we have experienced.

This mental stream is of course equally as valuable and when cultivated with awareness it can actually be one of your driving forces of authentic strength creation.

Collectively on the planet we are in a huge time of change, all over the globe we can see shifts in perspective arising, voices calling out, hearts expanding and moving into action, truths singing LOUD. There is A LOT of flux right now!

The time to recognise how powerful our focused intention really is is upon us. Use this extra special opening to notice where YOUR focus is. We can also use this time to ask ~ Where is my INNER flux at this time? How am I either changing now or in a tidal wave of capacity to do so?

Holding space for your focus to be known is important because you are in fact a microcosmic force within a vast network of collective outcomes. You literally ARE the living key to your own becoming. Where your thoughts are directing you is vital as it is where you will find yourself in some shape or form.

What I have noticed recently about the way my own mind behaves is that it is extremely well designed in the sense that it can, of its own accord, take me on a journey with a destination so far away from my original start point. It sometimes feels like ‘it’ is the driver, yet the larger aspect of my awareness knows that all things are actually in inextricable balance and can only come out of that play by virtue of my own choice on some level. Therefore there is no part of me which is not experiencing exactly what it is meant to in perfect accordance with my own development.

Using all our given traits as Human beings. Our thoughts, our feelings, our physical body, our intentional self, our etheric form; this is one of the many different elements to why we are here. To utilise ALL of ourselves IN the dynamic of Love. In conjunction with this there is no point in pushing away our thoughts or denying our emotions the freedom to be expressed, all of these elements exist in tandem with WHO YOU ARE. Honing your focus into Love does not mean denying the other feelings, it simply means going through your own personal process to reach a point where you realise that it always already exists within you, and can be called upon!

You cannot escape your nature, and your focus truly IS a spark in this world.

So as the horses are guiding – be available for WHATEVER YOU NEED TO EXPERIENCE with the intention to ultimately bring your focus onto Love, a Love that is waiting with open arms, that constant embrace. May it be a case of simply recognising what is already present within so that we may be conscious creators in this world again and again.

The Light in our Freedom

As my time with the animals in my life has developed, along with own personal consciousness we have arrived at a rather lovely scenario of shared intention.

Every day when I leave the horses for the evening I ask myself ‘ How do I want the horses to feel? ‘

The answer to this question has, like all things, evolved. However for the past few months the answer is always the same – I want my horses to feel –

‘Unconditionally Loved. With the highest possible outcome in mind, may they feel that they are capable of achieving whatever their Heart’s Desire is. Held in a space of absolute potential and Divine Love.’

This may sounds strange to some. The horse’s ‘Heart’s Desire’, but I believe that all beings are on a trajectory of intentional creation. Whether that is on an energetic or physical level. All beings have an emotive transparency which they emit constantly, how much we are aware of this is the question I have asked myself MANY times. ‘How much am I listening?’ ‘How can I hear more clearly the voice of this Heart space between us.’

Thus the intentional light I choose to hold my horses in is one of expansion and of unfolding into their Heart’s Desires. My duty is to show up for them in a way which translates desire to outcome if needs be.

Now from the perspective of all things being One there is of course an intertwining with my own sense of feeling free. The intention for my horses stems from one of my deepest intentions for myself. To feel completely unbound by pressure and to roam inside the present moment with my sense of self wholly celebrated.

Many times I have felt the wires of my own integrity cross with those of our cultural belief systems. Seeking something which my mind told me was outside the ‘norm’. Holding myself back because of a generic idea of what ‘being acceptable’ is. The shift came the moment I saw I was the one applying pressure as much as I was the one feeling pressurized. There was no visible or attainable external force, it was a battle waged on the inside. Slowly I began to unravel the chains of expectation I had created as a byproduct of societal structure. I began feeling into the new world of being present with ME rather than chasing an unattainable ‘idea’ which morphs out of view as soon as you come close. The ultimate mirage.

Being able to be WHOEVER WE WANT TO BE. This is freedom for me. Not the action itself but the FEELING. Because once we are in that state the action of genuine authentic speech, thoughts and connection become second nature. Condition free.

Being whoever I want to be – what does this look like? If I was to explain it to someone who may have a completely different sense for what that is what would I say?

Feeling free means that ALWAYS, under ALL circumstances, with ALL people, things and in all places – putting your own truth first, and arriving at a place where this is your HIGHEST option taken. Where YOUR voice matters because you have come to terms with what it sounds like. Where who you actually ARE in that moment is far more important than anything else.

There are many different roads you can take towards living in your Heart as a dedication to loving yourself more. Whether it is freedom, raising your voice, being seen, being heard, attending to your world with humility, unbinding yourself from the past to live more fully in bond with the NOW, the path itself will ultimately create a MUCH deeper sense of recognising who you are.

As I sit here in deep reflection upon the intricate web of life and all things included, I set my intention for the day:

‘That the highest possible option may come to pass for all beings, and may the unity of our hearts ring true with what freedom looks like on an individual and collective level.’

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